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Question: My husband and I just separated.  We’ve been married for 5 years, no kids.  We both work full time.  I’m not going to get any spousal support am I?

Answer: It depends on a number of different considerations including whether and for how long you lived together prior to getting married, if you earn less money than your husband and if so how much less, if you require financial support, if your husband has the ability to provide you with financial support, if you sacrificed your career when you got married and your ability to become self sufficient in a short period of time, to name a few.

All of these factors will be taken into consideration by the judge in determining whether you should receive spousal support, and if so, how much and for how long.

When determining the amount of spousal support to be paid and the duration of support payable, if any, many judges in Ontario now rely on the Spousal Support Advisory Guidelines.  The Guidelines will generate a transitional amount of spousal support, with the length of the transition period being proportionate to the length of the parties’ cohabitation/marriage.  For short marriages, like yours, the amount of support generated by the Guideline Formula will often be small and for a very short transitional period. 

The short transitional period allows spouses time to achieve or approximate the same standard of living that the spouses enjoyed while married, while at the same time encourages a clean break between the spouses.

Unless you lived with your husband for a number of years before you got married, if the judge orders any spousal support, it will likely be for no more than 2 to 5 years.

I was invited by a friend to attend a get together this evening hosted by Lawyer Locate.  Among the attendees were a number of lawyer bloggers, the most notable being my friend Megan Connolly. Megan has had great success with her blog on LexBlog www.torontoestatemonitor.com.  Her blog has been referred to by other legal bloggers and she was even interviewed for a legal magazine.  Megan has inspired me to blog more often.  (She blogs three times a week!) She had some great ideas about what I can blog about, particularly in my area of speciality: family law. So stay tuned as I implement those great ideas.

According to Sandra E. Foster, author of You can’t take it with you: Common-Sense Estate Planning for Canadians, 5th edition, 50% of Canadian adults have not prepared a basic will. 

Hopefully, you’re one of the 50% of Canadians who have signed a properly prepared will.  But, how old is your will?  When was the last time you reviewed your will?  Is it up-to-date?  Does it reflect your current family situation? Does it reflect your current wishes on how you want your property, assets and personal effects distributed when you die? Did the lawyer who prepared your will also prepare documents appointing a representative who will make decisions on your behalf with respect to your finances and health care in the event you become mentally incapable?

If, for example, you prepared your will after the birth of your first child, who is now 35 years old with two children of his own, an update of your will is well overdue.

I encourage you to contact Michelle Roy confidentially to prepare and/or update your will and Powers of Attorney.

Most of us in our 20s, 30s, and 40s believe we are young and healthy and are going to live until at least our 80s and hopefully our 90s.  Surely we can put off setting up an estate plan for another couple of decades?  But the recent death of Sergeant Ryan Russell, who was only 35 years old, awakens the possibility that we may pass away sooner than expected. 

Whether you are 25 or 45, regardless if you have modest or substantial assets, you need basic estate planning documents including a will and Powers of Attorney.  Most estates lawyers and planners believe anyone over the age of 18, who has a family (parents, siblings or children), a bank account, savings account or some other assets such as a car, should have a will.  You definitely need a will if you answer “yes” to any of the following questions:

1.      Do you own a house, condominium or cottage in your sole name or as a tenant in common?

2.      Are you engaged to be married or already married?

3.      Are you planning on moving in with or currently cohabitating with your partner?

4.      Do you plan on having children in the near future or are you pregnant?

5.      Do you already have children?

6.      Have you recently separated from or divorced your spouse?

The will is a major part of the estate planning process.  You need a will to dictate who will benefit from the distribution of your property and assets when you die, what property and assets will be divided and when, and how the distribution will be accomplished. 

Having a well prepared will, which sets out clearly how your estate is to be distributed, will help your family members and beneficiaries avoid potential conflict, minimize stress and save your Executor time and money when your estate is being settled. 

You need Powers of Attorney to dictate who will become responsible for managing your finances and property and your personal and health care in the event that, due to mental or health reasons, you can no longer make decisions for yourself.

I encourage you to contact Michelle Roy confidentially at 416-480-9792 or michelleroy@solacesettlement.com to begin preparation of your will and Powers of Attorney.  Michelle Roy’s rates are very reasonable and she offers a discount for couples preparing mirror wills.

Michelle Roy spent almost two hours today with Shahab Sulaman (aspiring professional photographer) taking photographs for Solace Settlement Services’ new and improved website.  Looking forward to seeing the photographs he selects.  Even managed to take some photographs depicting a family mediation.  Thanks to Chris and Tracey for their assistance.

Solace Settlement Services is dedicated to helping clients find solace by resolving their family law issues out of court.  Founder Michelle Roy assists clients to reach creative resolutions of their family law issues that best meet their goals and concerns through settlement negotiation and mediation.  She also provides arbitration and domestic violence screening services.

I am happy to announce that effective January 3, 2011 the main office of Solace Settlement Services has moved to 2300 Yonge Street, Suite 2901 (Yonge and Eglinton).  For your convenience, settlement meetings, mediations and arbitrations can continue to be booked at one of three additional locations: 25 Sheppard West, 1200 Bay Street or 330 Bay Street.

I am further happy to announce that after completing a 100 hour mediation internship with Hilary Linton of Riverdale Mediation and Dr. Barbara Jo Fidler, I am now an Accredited Family Mediator with the Ontario Association for Family Mediation.

Michelle Roy, Family Law Lawyer, Mediator and Arbitrator
Founder of Solace Settlement Services

This is a true, cautionary tale about two families, the “Jones” family and the “Smith” family.  Each family had a mom and a dad and a one year old child.

Both marriages were brief: less than 3 years.  Both moms stayed at home caring for the baby while dad worked full time, although Mrs. Smith returned to work after her maternity leave.

After the parents separated, both dads brought a motion seeking a court order setting out temporary care arrangements for the baby.  While the circumstances of these families were similar, the outcomes of their motions were entirely different.

Mrs. Jones felt that her child was too young to spend time with the dad alone.  She had refused to let him see their daughter. The judge who heard the dad’s motion for access told the mom that she couldn’t prohibit the dad from seeing the baby and ordered access for 4 hours during the week and 5 hours on the weekend, with no overnights, considering the child’s age and attachment to each parent.

In comparison, one day after the Smiths separated, Mr. brought an “urgent” motion seeking sole custody.  According to Mrs. Smith, the dad had limited involvement caring for the child until then. Neither party had a lawyer. The judge who dealt with this motion ordered that the baby reside with each parent an equal amount of time, including alternate weekends and overnights.

The Judge acknowledged that the mom had been the parent who had been mostly responsible for caring for the child until the separation. Even so, equal time sharing was ordered. The judge assured the distraught mom that the order was only temporary.  The judge recommended that the parties retain lawyers and ordered them to come back to court one week later and to each provide a proposed schedule for the baby’s care. 

The markedly different care arrangements the two judges ordered for these two similar families illustrates why separating parents would be wise to try to mediate parenting plans for their children rather than rely on the court system. The results are impossible to predict.

It is in the best interests of children, particularly under the age of 3, that the parents work together to develop a detailed parenting plan, either in mediation or mediation-arbitration. There are many professionals providing this service who also have knowledge about child development issues and how children of different ages and personalities cope with separation and divorce. 

A good parenting plan will include living and decision-making arrangements that are consistent with a child’s age, developmental stage and physical and emotional needs, as well as each parent’s care giving experience and skills.  It can address the specific concerns of each parent, detailed provisions for transitions between homes, and have a conflict resolution mechanism for any future disagreements.

The result will be a parenting arrangement that both parents feel is better for the child (and probably for them too) than what a judge might order. A classic win-win-win.

Solace Settlement Services is moving!  Effective October 1, 2010 the main office of Solace Settlement Services will be 25 Sheppard Avenue West, Suite 300, Toronto, Ontario.

For your convenience, mediations and arbitrations can be booked at 25 Sheppard Avenue West, 1200 Bay Street (Yorkville) and 330 Bay Street (Financial District).

Looking forward to you seeing our new office space!

Mediation allows you to be more in control of the outcome.  Going to court and relying on a judge to your settle the family law is a crap shoot.  I have walked into court for a motion fully expecting to get result A and wound up getting result D which was never even on the table, leaving both my client and myself bewildered.